Friday, December 18, 2009
Tip Of The Day!
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Fear of Santa
QUESTION:
My son and I went to see Santa Claus to get our annual photo taken but this year he would not get on his lap. What happened?
ANSWER:
As children get older, their senses develop in ways we sometimes overlook. I believe what your son is going through is a normal fear associated with being in near proximity to a very rotund stranger clad in red.
In professional terms we call this "CLAUSE-traphobia".
My son and I went to see Santa Claus to get our annual photo taken but this year he would not get on his lap. What happened?
ANSWER:
As children get older, their senses develop in ways we sometimes overlook. I believe what your son is going through is a normal fear associated with being in near proximity to a very rotund stranger clad in red.
In professional terms we call this "CLAUSE-traphobia".
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Christmas Gifts To Beware Of
QUESTION:
I'd like to get my child a dog for Christmas this year. Is there anything I should worry about when choosing a gift like this?
ANSWER:
The golden rule here is to look for a dog that suits your family. It can be big or small, active or sedentary, but you must make sure that it's personality is one that will blend easily with the entire family. There is really only one precaution you should take and that is to avoid pet stores boasting signs like the one below.
Dog for sale:
Eats anything and is fond of children.
I'd like to get my child a dog for Christmas this year. Is there anything I should worry about when choosing a gift like this?
ANSWER:
The golden rule here is to look for a dog that suits your family. It can be big or small, active or sedentary, but you must make sure that it's personality is one that will blend easily with the entire family. There is really only one precaution you should take and that is to avoid pet stores boasting signs like the one below.
Dog for sale:
Eats anything and is fond of children.
How Can I Make Holy Water?
QUESTION:
This holiday season I am feeling grateful for everything I have. I would like to perform a special ceremony to bless everything in my house but can't get my local clergyman to come over to perform this holy rite. Is there anything I can do at home to make holy water?
ANSWER:
This is a pretty easy fix. There are only two steps to making holy water:
1. Get a pot, fill it with water.
2. Put it on the stove and boil the hell out of it.
This holiday season I am feeling grateful for everything I have. I would like to perform a special ceremony to bless everything in my house but can't get my local clergyman to come over to perform this holy rite. Is there anything I can do at home to make holy water?
ANSWER:
This is a pretty easy fix. There are only two steps to making holy water:
1. Get a pot, fill it with water.
2. Put it on the stove and boil the hell out of it.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Question Questions
QUESTION
I am a teacher and try to ask my students questions that they can intuitively answer. They are usually about things they see in every day life. Is there a way to avoid getting answers that are given by students who are extremely perceptive?
ANSWER
Children today live in a much more open society. They see and hear things that we're not aware that they're picking up on as witnessed by the following story. One teacher blindfolded one of her students and popped a Hershey's Kiss into his mouth then asked him...
"What does a kiss taste like?" she asked. "Do you know what it is?"
"No, I don't," said the little boy.
'Okay, I'll give you a clue," she said. "It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work."
Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled "Spit it out you idiot, it's a piece of ass!"
I am a teacher and try to ask my students questions that they can intuitively answer. They are usually about things they see in every day life. Is there a way to avoid getting answers that are given by students who are extremely perceptive?
ANSWER
Children today live in a much more open society. They see and hear things that we're not aware that they're picking up on as witnessed by the following story. One teacher blindfolded one of her students and popped a Hershey's Kiss into his mouth then asked him...
"What does a kiss taste like?" she asked. "Do you know what it is?"
"No, I don't," said the little boy.
'Okay, I'll give you a clue," she said. "It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work."
Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled "Spit it out you idiot, it's a piece of ass!"
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Child Labor
Question
My child has expressed an interest in getting a job. Although his is still very young, seven, we are wondering if it would benefit him to join the workforce early enough to allow him to discover where his talents lay.
Answer
By all means. Give him the car keys and shove him out the door. Okay, so I'm just kidding because obviously he is not tall enough to see over the dash yet, however, a car booster seat could be the answer.
It is never too early to start your children on the road to riches. Many of the jobs that will be available to this younger generation have not yet even been created so it is wise to start looking around to see what their adaptability is like.
A perfect example of how it works and how much your child can get out of early employment and learn to deal with all sorts of situations can be seen in the story below.
________________________________________________
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.'
"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' drywall..."
_________________________________________________
What this child received from this experience is priceless. Not only is she learning to bank her money, she is also on the fast track to learning a new language. I say go for it. What's the little bastard got to loose?
My child has expressed an interest in getting a job. Although his is still very young, seven, we are wondering if it would benefit him to join the workforce early enough to allow him to discover where his talents lay.
Answer
By all means. Give him the car keys and shove him out the door. Okay, so I'm just kidding because obviously he is not tall enough to see over the dash yet, however, a car booster seat could be the answer.
It is never too early to start your children on the road to riches. Many of the jobs that will be available to this younger generation have not yet even been created so it is wise to start looking around to see what their adaptability is like.
A perfect example of how it works and how much your child can get out of early employment and learn to deal with all sorts of situations can be seen in the story below.
________________________________________________
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.'
"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' drywall..."
_________________________________________________
What this child received from this experience is priceless. Not only is she learning to bank her money, she is also on the fast track to learning a new language. I say go for it. What's the little bastard got to loose?
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, July 16, 2007
Therapy Versus Euthanization
Question:
My dog seems to have a controlling personality. Should I seek help and try medication to help him sort through his odd ways or what?
Answer:
If your dog spends too much time on his own he may resort to creating an invisible play mate so he won't feel so alone. There are a few solutions that might benefit your dog such as providing him with a mate, someone he can learn to play with during the times you are away, or you might consider working from home to spare him from seperation anxiety.
Many breeds are prone to vivid imaginations and can create something out of nothing as seen in the following video.
My dog seems to have a controlling personality. Should I seek help and try medication to help him sort through his odd ways or what?
Answer:
If your dog spends too much time on his own he may resort to creating an invisible play mate so he won't feel so alone. There are a few solutions that might benefit your dog such as providing him with a mate, someone he can learn to play with during the times you are away, or you might consider working from home to spare him from seperation anxiety.
Many breeds are prone to vivid imaginations and can create something out of nothing as seen in the following video.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Marriage Versus Courtship
Question:
Will marriage end the delightful times of courtship?
Answer:
Often times things do change as relationships progress. Sometimes it is better not to tie the knot, but simply carry on in a care free manner. Below is what can happen when boredom sets in.
Here we see true love during courtship. It can have that anytime, anywhere kind of love fest that is found during periods where there is no pressure, no expectations, no strings attached.
When you add the responsibilities of maintaining a long term relationship such as marriage, the stress can often lead to arguments and tension that cannot be resolved by sex alone.
Many times, long term relationships end up becoming very flat when the excitment of new love wanes so you should carefully consider all aspects of committing to a life long relationship.
Will marriage end the delightful times of courtship?
Answer:
Often times things do change as relationships progress. Sometimes it is better not to tie the knot, but simply carry on in a care free manner. Below is what can happen when boredom sets in.
Here we see true love during courtship. It can have that anytime, anywhere kind of love fest that is found during periods where there is no pressure, no expectations, no strings attached.
When you add the responsibilities of maintaining a long term relationship such as marriage, the stress can often lead to arguments and tension that cannot be resolved by sex alone.
Many times, long term relationships end up becoming very flat when the excitment of new love wanes so you should carefully consider all aspects of committing to a life long relationship.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
Too Much Time On Your Hands
Question:
I've been alone with my dog for so long is it possible that we are starting to not only look alike-we're starting to sound alike. Am I the only one with too much time on my hands?
Answer:
You are definitly not alone when it comes to companionship overload with an animal, although taking up an outside hobby might be wise at this time.
For many folks across the country it can be their only contact in their solitary world. After all everyone needs somebody to talk to on occasion.
So you won't feel too alone, watch this video made by other dog owners with too much time on their hands.
Talking Dogs
|Funny Jokes at JibJab
I've been alone with my dog for so long is it possible that we are starting to not only look alike-we're starting to sound alike. Am I the only one with too much time on my hands?
Answer:
You are definitly not alone when it comes to companionship overload with an animal, although taking up an outside hobby might be wise at this time.
For many folks across the country it can be their only contact in their solitary world. After all everyone needs somebody to talk to on occasion.
So you won't feel too alone, watch this video made by other dog owners with too much time on their hands.
Talking Dogs
|Funny Jokes at JibJab
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
TIT-illating Not So Uncommon
Question:
Do boobs really titillate a mans senses or is it just a reconnection with his mother?
Answer:
Sometimes the issue of boobs can be a 'long' story, especially for anyone who has nursed a baby or two.
Men have always been fascinated by the glam glands and have never kept that a secret. Most overtly stare when they find a pair that appeal to them and so they should because a nice pair of boobs is worth appreciating. They have long since lost their fear of being smacked by those they openly ogle and some even long for the smack (pain and pleasure theory).
What you have to ask yourself is this, does the entire mammary gland appeal to you or is it just the nipple?
If it's the entire breast, then you're a reasonably normal male who can be dropped to the knees at the sight of cleavage, however, if it is specifically the nipple you desire, you're most likely longing to pick up the phone and call your mother.
Breast feeders across the nation suffer from what many experts qualify as separation anxiety. You spent many months suckling on your mothers breast so it's no wonder that many men are still fascinated by the wiggling, jiggling milk bags.
Women also appreciate breasts whether they are straight or gay. Celebrities have often evened the playing field by posing naked for magazine covers, thus perpetuating this infatuation.
For a more indepth look at who appreciates their own boobs, watch the following video. [Don't forget to turn the sound up]
Do boobs really titillate a mans senses or is it just a reconnection with his mother?
Answer:
Sometimes the issue of boobs can be a 'long' story, especially for anyone who has nursed a baby or two.
Men have always been fascinated by the glam glands and have never kept that a secret. Most overtly stare when they find a pair that appeal to them and so they should because a nice pair of boobs is worth appreciating. They have long since lost their fear of being smacked by those they openly ogle and some even long for the smack (pain and pleasure theory).
What you have to ask yourself is this, does the entire mammary gland appeal to you or is it just the nipple?
If it's the entire breast, then you're a reasonably normal male who can be dropped to the knees at the sight of cleavage, however, if it is specifically the nipple you desire, you're most likely longing to pick up the phone and call your mother.
Breast feeders across the nation suffer from what many experts qualify as separation anxiety. You spent many months suckling on your mothers breast so it's no wonder that many men are still fascinated by the wiggling, jiggling milk bags.
Women also appreciate breasts whether they are straight or gay. Celebrities have often evened the playing field by posing naked for magazine covers, thus perpetuating this infatuation.
For a more indepth look at who appreciates their own boobs, watch the following video. [Don't forget to turn the sound up]
Monday, April 30, 2007
Bloggers Unite For Peace
BUT...
it is not the silence that unites us, it is the words spoken over and over by billions of people around the world every day who hope one day we can find a peaceful place to co-exist.
The words are for victims everywhere in the world, for soldiers who need our voice because they are couragiously working in silence, for victims of senseless violence, for abused children too young to stand up for themselves, for battered wives who've lost hope, for students now afraid to attend school, for people seaching for a better life outside the realm of their borders.
Yes, pictures speak a thousand words but a voice speaks volumes.
SILENCE=DEATH
[Banner courtesy of Mo at It's A Blog Eat Blog World]
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Stress Can Be Relieved Harmlessly
Question:
I'm feeling extremely stressed out at the moment. Is there something I can do to relieve what's boiling up inside?
Answer:
Every one of us has daily stress factors that alter our everyday lives.
In this day and age it's not uncommon to find ones plate full and then some but, what do you do about it. Usually we go back for seconds and even thirds to feel like we've accomplished something as each day passes.
Striving to 'do-it-all' and achieve goals too quickly can often dampen the glory of the win but, if you pace yourself, you might just find that you will accomplish the same goal without putting so much emphasis on the time frame.
If there is no way to avoid situations that put the binders on your emotions, look for ways to relax when you have a spare moment. Sex or masturbation are sure ways to release endorphins that usually will cause your body to let down for a moment and give you a little 'piece' of mind.
You can also turn off the television, put down the newspaper and avoid world news that is far too disturbing to digest. Cognitive centers will hold painful information far longer than that which we perceive as pleasant so avoid things that disturb you.
If it's housework that's got you overwhelmed, put it off for a day or two. Forget the fact that your laundry pile may have taken on a life of it's own. Wear a crinkled up dirty shirt and tell people it's linen. If it's the kids that have got you spiraling out of control, send them packing to a friends house for a night (or a week if you can get away with that).
If you need something more tangible to do immediately then you might want to watch this video that I previously posted on my other site The Not So News. It's sure to make you laugh, which in turn should help you release some pent up stress.
I'm feeling extremely stressed out at the moment. Is there something I can do to relieve what's boiling up inside?
Answer:
Every one of us has daily stress factors that alter our everyday lives.
In this day and age it's not uncommon to find ones plate full and then some but, what do you do about it. Usually we go back for seconds and even thirds to feel like we've accomplished something as each day passes.
Striving to 'do-it-all' and achieve goals too quickly can often dampen the glory of the win but, if you pace yourself, you might just find that you will accomplish the same goal without putting so much emphasis on the time frame.
If there is no way to avoid situations that put the binders on your emotions, look for ways to relax when you have a spare moment. Sex or masturbation are sure ways to release endorphins that usually will cause your body to let down for a moment and give you a little 'piece' of mind.
You can also turn off the television, put down the newspaper and avoid world news that is far too disturbing to digest. Cognitive centers will hold painful information far longer than that which we perceive as pleasant so avoid things that disturb you.
If it's housework that's got you overwhelmed, put it off for a day or two. Forget the fact that your laundry pile may have taken on a life of it's own. Wear a crinkled up dirty shirt and tell people it's linen. If it's the kids that have got you spiraling out of control, send them packing to a friends house for a night (or a week if you can get away with that).
If you need something more tangible to do immediately then you might want to watch this video that I previously posted on my other site The Not So News. It's sure to make you laugh, which in turn should help you release some pent up stress.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Booze Can Ruin Childhood
Question:
How early can alcoholism begin?
Answer:
Without a doubt, drinking is almost always promoted by parents worldwide as early as infancy.
From the moment a child born it's forced to suck back as much liquid as possible both by breast and bottle.
No studies have been conducted as of yet on the adverse effects of such early training but in this video it's clear to see that the early onset of binge drinking can have devastating lifelong affects.
(Footnote: Pearl, now 24 months, is now a recovering alcoholic and attends daily AA meetings)
How early can alcoholism begin?
Answer:
Without a doubt, drinking is almost always promoted by parents worldwide as early as infancy.
From the moment a child born it's forced to suck back as much liquid as possible both by breast and bottle.
No studies have been conducted as of yet on the adverse effects of such early training but in this video it's clear to see that the early onset of binge drinking can have devastating lifelong affects.
(Footnote: Pearl, now 24 months, is now a recovering alcoholic and attends daily AA meetings)
Friday, April 13, 2007
Wife May End Procrastination
Question:
I have so many things to do and I don't know where to start. It seems like I'm always behind in everything. What do I do?
Answer:
First of all, if you get the urge to procrastinate, just put it off!
Try to remember that you are not alone when it comes to staying current with everyday chores such as laundry, paying bills, taking care of a family, preparing meals, picking up dry cleaning, getting to work on time, picking up the dog from the groomers, getting the kids to and from school, organizing your office or even something as mundane as unloading the clean dishes from the dishwasher so the dirty ones in the kitchen sink can take their place. Yes...the list can be endless!
In the fast paced world that we live in, it's easy to let things pile up until they become overwhelming. Sometimes this makes us feel 'let down' about ourselves because we're always reading about people who are so busy, but, manage to pull everything off and get everything done in a timely manner. What we don't do is read between the lines of their life.
Many of these so called 'doers' have people. Yes, maids, drivers, assistants, nannies, chef's, accountants or WIVES. If you cannot afford people, your best bet would be to find a wife who would eliminate your need to even think about these daily chores thus allowing you to concentrate strictly on bringing home the bacon.
I have so many things to do and I don't know where to start. It seems like I'm always behind in everything. What do I do?
Answer:
First of all, if you get the urge to procrastinate, just put it off!
Try to remember that you are not alone when it comes to staying current with everyday chores such as laundry, paying bills, taking care of a family, preparing meals, picking up dry cleaning, getting to work on time, picking up the dog from the groomers, getting the kids to and from school, organizing your office or even something as mundane as unloading the clean dishes from the dishwasher so the dirty ones in the kitchen sink can take their place. Yes...the list can be endless!
In the fast paced world that we live in, it's easy to let things pile up until they become overwhelming. Sometimes this makes us feel 'let down' about ourselves because we're always reading about people who are so busy, but, manage to pull everything off and get everything done in a timely manner. What we don't do is read between the lines of their life.
Many of these so called 'doers' have people. Yes, maids, drivers, assistants, nannies, chef's, accountants or WIVES. If you cannot afford people, your best bet would be to find a wife who would eliminate your need to even think about these daily chores thus allowing you to concentrate strictly on bringing home the bacon.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
See If Your Dreams Will Come True
Sometimes a test comes along that helps you slow down and think.
If you care to take this Personality Test and see what the future may hold for you do so at your own risk. I quite enjoyed it and if you really are truthful it's pretty exact.
The music is lovely so enjoy!
Dr. J
If you care to take this Personality Test and see what the future may hold for you do so at your own risk. I quite enjoyed it and if you really are truthful it's pretty exact.
The music is lovely so enjoy!
Dr. J
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Dealing With Grief
Question:
Answer:
Life does not always work out the way you think it should. People come and go in our lives and although we experience great sadness we are usually pretty freaking glad that it's not us that has passed.
As for this picture, I think the moral of the story is that we should always make sure our plate is full before we get fried. Live life to the fullest!
Answer:
Life does not always work out the way you think it should. People come and go in our lives and although we experience great sadness we are usually pretty freaking glad that it's not us that has passed.
As for this picture, I think the moral of the story is that we should always make sure our plate is full before we get fried. Live life to the fullest!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)